"He looks just like you..."
I know that this is something that we will hear quite often.
It makes me laugh just a little and to be honest, yes I think he does in fact look like us at times.
Some people don't know "our story" or that he is adopted. Friends and family that do know often forget that he is not genetically ours. It is even crazier since he is technically adopted but yet I carried him in my belly and gave birth to him.
I carried him for 9 months.
I had morning sickness. Heartburn.
Doctors appointments and ultrasounds.
I had baby showers and maternity photos.
My water broke and I went into labor.
He gave me stretch makes on my butt for goodness sakes!
I think that makes it easy to forget that he is adopted and I think that makes it even more confusing to new people that don't know. It's fun to explain, of course . Yet most people don't even know what an embryo is so explaining it can be very interesting to say the least. There are a lot of confused looks. Questions. Then excitement and joy for us. Most people don't know embryo adoption exists. Even couples with infertility don't realize it is an option.
I don't mind telling our story. I tell people quite often. I am an open book. I love our story. I love our family and how we came to be a family. However one day, as he gets older it will be HIS story and something that we will more selectively share.
I know that Deegan will know he is adopted. I mean....hello...at some point he is going to wonder where his Asian eyes came from, right?
We really want it to always be an open conversation.
Something that is cherished and embraced. Always.
We want him to know how much we wanted him and how much he is loved for everything he is. I always want it to be a positive thing. A wonderful, happy, positive story.
I can't wait to see what traits he has from genetics and which ones he gets from us.
Will he be good at sports?
We are not very athletic so will we one day cheer him on at Friday night football games?
Will he love outdoors? He daddy sure does. They could canoe and go hiking.
Will he be creative and draw or paint like my family?
I can't wait to see.
When I look at him. I see my son. I see the child that I was meant to have all along.
I see that he was meant for me. For us. For our family. Whether he looks like me or not is up for debate but definitely is not something I ever needed to have to bond with him or ever needed to hear to know he is mine.
I know he is mine 100%. No questions about it.
"He looks just like you" is just a little added bonus.